Dating safety advice: how to take the danger out of those
first few dates with an unknown.
So you have met a new guy in a town but you don't know anything about him. Should you accept his date or not? He's very good looking and dresses well and is soft spoken, just the kind of the man you might read about in a Harlequin novel. And he makes your heart skip a beat every time he winks at you while wearing that adorable smile.
Is he for real or is he a serial killer looking for his next victim? It's a sorry affair but many girls have fallen prey to a man's looks and charm and then ended up at the city morgue as another statistic for tomorrow's headline.
Meeting dates through the internet and dating services and other unreliable sources are very risky business. As long as these dating groups get their money, they do not care what happens to their clients.
Going out on a first date can be very stressful, at any age. If you don't know anything about this fellow, his friends or relatives, his job, you might want to play it safe. By playing it safe I mean, plan to meet him at a donut shop where it is well lighted and open with lots of people around. Never, never, get into his car or plan to meet him at his residence or at a hotel room, or any concealed location, whatsoever. Your heart may be pounding with love for him but let your common sense keep you alive.
Some girls when they meet a new date ask their friends to tag along and sit in the corner just for a back up. If he knows that you have someone looking out for you, more than likely he will not try to endanger you. Then in the meantime, you can ask to see his drivers license and check out where he lives and works. If you don't know the fellow very well, any of his friends or relatives it might be safer to arrange a double date the first time, with one of your friends. In today's world you just don't know who's out there. He can be the most polite and best looking fellow but have serial killing on his mind. So play it safe.
If your girlfriends can't come, ask the proprietor at the donut shop to keep an eye out. They can be very helpful. Never leave at the same time. Take the bus or better still a taxi home, just so he can't drag you into the car if you are walking. Check to see if he followed you.
Find out where he works and check his references. Maybe phone that work place and ask to speak to him or drop by and see if the receptionist knows about him.
If he does offer you a date, then make it a foursome with another couple until you are sure about this person. If he doesn't like that, then drop him because he probably is no good.
Try to read his body language to see if certain things upset him or anger or excite him out of the ordinary. Talk about certain issues and the treatment of women and rapists. Read his gut reaction. Be realistic and realize if you sense any danger whatsoever, just tell him you're going to be busy. You forgot about a plan you made a month ago with your family and it can't be broken. If he becomes annoying and telephones constantly leave your answering machine on so you don't have to talk to him. But do make your friends aware that he's stalking you and try to stay in a group when you have to go out or spend the extra money on a taxi. Go to the police and inform them if you have any suspicions. They can run his driver's license through the wanted group.
Perhaps plan to meet him at the donut shop a few times and talk about your common interests and family details what groups he belongs to where he worked where he is staying then you can check out some of these references to make sure he's OK.
Have your girlfriend with her date arrange to be nearby.
Don't get in the car with him alone.
Ask to see his driver's license that tells his home address and whether he's just passing through. If he asks to see yours tell him you don't have it with you because you got a ride. You don't want him to know where you live, not yet.
Never, never, never be taken in by some idea that he has come to pick you up to take you to a family emergency. Sometimes when we are upset and not thinking we're caught off guard and don't realize that the family would never be asking him to bring you.
Always be polite and tell him that you don't think you are ready to start dating again because the bad experience you suffered still is with you and you don't want to mess up his life as well. Make him think you're doing him a kindness. Never criticize or laugh at him.
In general just use your common sense and if you think there is a problem then let him go. The best way to make friends is through your relatives, friends, and church groups or at parties where everyone knows everyone else.
I hope you will find the mate you are looking for and remain safe and happy
throughout your life.