Dating safety advice: how to take the danger out of those
first few dates with an unknown.
So you have met a new guy in a town but you don't know anything about him. Should
you accept his date or not? He's very good looking and dresses well and is soft
spoken, just the kind of the man you might read about in a Harlequin novel. And he
makes your heart skip a beat every time he winks at you while wearing that
Is he for real or is he a serial killer looking for his next victim? It's a
sorry affair but many girls have fallen prey to a man's looks and charm and then
ended up at the city morgue as another statistic for tomorrow's headline.
Meeting dates through the internet and dating services and
other unreliable sources are very risky business. As long as these dating
groups get their money, they do not care what happens to their clients.
Going out on a first date can be very stressful, at any age. If you don't
know anything about this fellow, his friends or relatives, his job, you might
want to play it safe. By playing it safe I mean, plan to meet him at a donut
shop where it is well lighted and open with lots of people around. Never, never,
get into his car or plan to meet him at his residence or at a hotel room, or any
concealed location, whatsoever. Your heart may be pounding with love for him but
let your common sense keep you alive.
Some girls when they meet a new date ask their friends to tag along and sit
in the corner just for a back up. If he knows that you have someone looking out
for you, more than likely he will not try to endanger you. Then in the meantime,
you can ask to see his drivers license and check out where he lives and works.
If you don't know the fellow very well, any of his friends or relatives it might
be safer to arrange a double date the first time, with one of your friends. In
today's world you just don't know who's out there. He can be the most polite and
best looking fellow but have serial killing on his mind. So play it safe.
If your girlfriends can't come, ask the proprietor at the donut shop to keep
an eye out. They can be very helpful. Never leave at the same time. Take the bus
or better still a taxi home, just so he can't drag you into the car if you are
walking. Check to see if he followed you.
Find out where he works and check his references. Maybe phone that work place
and ask to speak to him or drop by and see if the receptionist knows about him.
If he does offer you a date, then make it a foursome with another couple
until you are sure about this person. If he doesn't like that, then drop him
because he probably is no good.
Try to read his body language to see if certain things upset him or anger or
excite him out of the ordinary. Talk about certain issues and the treatment of
women and rapists. Read his gut reaction. Be realistic and realize if you sense
any danger whatsoever, just tell him you're going to be busy. You forgot about a
plan you made a month ago with your family and it can't be broken. If he becomes
annoying and telephones constantly leave your answering machine on so you don't
have to talk to him. But do make your friends aware that he's stalking you and
try to stay in a group when you have to go out or spend the extra money on a
taxi. Go to the police and inform them if you have any suspicions. They can run
his driver's license through the wanted group.
Perhaps plan to meet him at the donut shop a few times and talk about your
common interests and family details what groups he belongs to where he worked
where he is staying then you can check out some of these references to make sure
Have your girlfriend with her date arrange to be nearby.
Don't get in the car with him alone.
Ask to see his driver's license that tells his home address and whether he's
just passing through. If he asks to see yours tell him you don't have it with
you because you got a ride. You don't want him to know where you live, not yet.
Never, never, never be taken in by some idea that he has come to pick you up
to take you to a family emergency. Sometimes when we are upset and not thinking
we're caught off guard and don't realize that the family would never be asking
him to bring you.
Always be polite and tell him that you don't think you are ready to start
dating again because the bad experience you suffered still is with you and you
don't want to mess up his life as well. Make him think you're doing him a
kindness. Never criticize or laugh at him.
In general just use your common sense and if you think there is a problem
then let him go. The best way to make friends is through your relatives,
friends, and church groups or at parties where everyone knows everyone else.
I hope you will find the mate you are looking for and remain safe and happy
throughout your life.